Crack fics (or When my imagination won't do what I will)
by Masterliful
Summary: Title says it all, Cracky one-shots made when my imagination acts up


**A/N This is going to be complete crack one-shots. I'll make them with any character from any fandom. The only purpose with them is to clear my imagination and to hopefully give both you guys and me a laugh.**

**WARNING: It makes no sense and is hot-of-the-press. Meaning, no beta-reading at all**

"HEY TOSHIRO!" Toshiro turned towards Karin Kurosaki, the source of the yell.

"You know, you don't have to yell. I'm only five feet away from you," he said.

"I CAN'T STOP YELLING!" the white haired taichou raised an eyebrow at that.

"That's impossible," said the taichou.

"APPERENTLY NOT!" yelled the raven-haired girl. Toshiro rubbed his head.

"Okay, any idea why that happened?"

"MAYBE I YELLED TOO MUCH AT THE BOYS SOCCER TEAM, OR WAS IT THE GIRLS!?"

"Wouldn't that make you lose your voice?"

"THEN MAYBE IT WAS THAT PILL URAHARA WANTED ME TO TEST!"

"YOU THINK?! OF COURSE IT'S HIM!"

"DON'T YELL!"

"THEN YOU STOP YELLING!"

"I CAN'T!"

"THEN WHY SHOULD I STOP?!"

"MAYBE BECAUSE IT WOULD BE MORE TOLERABLE IF ONLY ONE OF US YELLED?!"

"…Good point," Toshiro admitted. He then began walking.

"WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!" Karin asked/yelled.

"To Urahara, to see if he can cure you," he answered.

"OH!" she yelled. Toshiro gritted his teeth.

"WILL YOU STOP YELLING?!" he snapped.

"I TOLD YOU, I CAN'T!"

"THEN DON'T TALK!"

"GOOD IDEA!"

"You really couldn't think of that yourself?"

"HEY!" Karin yelled. 'YEESH, WHAT'S UP WITH HIM TODAY?!' she thought.

"DON'T DO THAT EITHER!"

"I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!"

"YOU THOUGHT SO LOUD, THAT I COULD HEAR IT!"

"YOU CAN READ MINDS?!"

"NO, YOUR THOUGHTS ARE JUST TOO LOUD!"

"OHH!" Toshiro just sighed and shook his head.

"Let's just go," he said.

"TOSHIRO, LOOK!" Toshiro turned back to Karin.

"What?"

"IT'S A DOG!" Toshiro raised an eyebrow.

"And you're telling me this because…?"

"´CAUSE IT'S A HOLLOW DOG!"

"Wait, WHAT?" Toshiro yelled and turned to look in the direction Karin pointed. There were two hollows. One big hollow, that looked to be taking a walk with a second hollow, that was crawling. It really did look like the big hollow was out walking his dog. "…Seriously?" Toshiro said in disbelief. He then moved to draw his zanpakuto.

"DON'T DO IT!" Karin yelled.

"WHY NOT?!" Toshiro yelled back.

"BECAUSE IT'S A DOG!" Toshiro looked at Karin in disbelief.

"What does THAT have to do with anything?!" he yelled frustrated.

"BECAUSE THAT MEANS IT'S CUTE!" Karin yelled back.

"THAT GOT EVEN LESS TO DO WITH IT!"

"NO, BECAUSE IT'S A DOG!"

"THAT'S NOT A DOG!"

"YES IT IS!"

"NO IT ISN'T!"

"IT'S A HOLLOW DOG!"

"A HOLLOW DOG ISN'T CUTE!"

"IT'S STILL A DOG AND DOGS ARE CUTE!"

"HOW THE HELL DOES IT CLASSIFY AS A DOG IN THE FIRST PLACE?!"

"IT WALKS ON FOUR LEGS!"

"CATS DO THAT TOO!"

"CATS ARE ALSO CUTE!"

"BUT HOLLOWS AREN'T!" by now had the two hollows discovered the bickering couple. The taichou and the Kurosaki first managed to notice them, when they attacked them. "Can I kill it NOW?" Toshiro asked.

"SURE, BUT TURN THE CAT INTO ICE, DON'T DESTROY IT!" Karin answered.

"Wasn't it a dog?" Toshiro muttered and then said, "Reign over the frosted heavens, Hyourinmaru!" Toshiro then wrapped the chain around the hollow dog? Cat? And turned it into ice. He then moved Karin out of the way of the menos's cero. Then cut it's mask in two.

"WAY TO GO, TOSHIRO!" Karin yelled.

"KARIN!" both Toshiro and Karin turned towards the source of the yell. Yuzu was running towards them and waving to them.

"HEY YUZU!" Karin yelled back. Yuzu reached them and glared at Karin.

"You drank my coffee with cacao, didn't you?" she accused.

"DID NOT!" the raven-haired defended.

"You're hyper, and you only get hyper when you drink coffee with cacao. Not with coffee, not with cacao, only coffee with cacao!" the blonde shot back.

"Well, that explains a lot," commented the white haired

"So, Karin," said Yuzu overly sweet, "come and take your cure,"

"NO WAY!" yelled Karin, looking slightly scared. Don't tell her that, she will punch you straight in the face.

"Come on, Karin," Yuzu said in the same sweet voice, "it's only black licorice!"

"I HATE BLACK LICORICE!" Karin yelled, simultaneously with backing away from Yuzu.

"Come on, you always stop being hyper after you eat it!" Toshiro couldn't help, but think Yuzu looked like Unohana, when she said that.

"NO WAY!" Karin yelled and began to run away.

"Looks like I got no choice, but to do THAT," Yuzu said.

"What is THAT?" asked Toshiro.

"Get hyper myself!" she said cheerfully and ate a bit of black licorice. "I'M GOING TO GET YOU SISTER!" she suddenly yelled and began running after Karin.

"NO, YOU WON'T!" Karin yelled back.

"I WILL!"

"NOT!"

"I WILL!"

"NOT!" Toshiro looked after the bickering twins. Then he sighed and began to walk away.

"I think I'll relax with some work…"

**A/N Like I said, complete crack. Anyway, this will be a series of one-shots from whenever my imagination doesn't work like I want to. I'll take request, which can be… anything really. Just a character, a scene, a fandom, lots of details, none at all, you name it!**


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